The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly: Crushes

Anyone that’s ever had a crush can agree that they’re the absolute worst. Having a crush could actually drive a person crazy and probably has.

Between trying to look good every time you see them or even think you’re going to see them, trying to know what they like so you two can talk about it, or constantly checking to make sure they’re still single or if they’ve finally broken up with their significant other that’s clearly not as right for them as you.

Even so, having a crush on someone isn’t all bad. There’s also the good moments. For example, when they notice how cute you look in that skirt you just bought. Or when they ask for your number (finally!). Or when it turns out they have a crush on you too. Amazing!

Add that to all the butterflies you feel around them, how they can make you smile just by doing the smallest thing, or how every touch feels like electricity running through you and yeah, it’s intoxicating. Which is why it can drive you crazy.

Although it’d be great if every guy/girl you’ve ever had a crush on liked you back that’s usually not the case, which is when things get bad and ugly. Usually the way the crush situation plays out is in three ways:

1. He likes you back


After all looks, secret smiles, and “accidentally” touching it turns out your crush was just as into you as you’re into them. Awesome! Now, you can stop beating around the bush and start dating rather than pining for each other from afar.

2. He’s in a relationship


You’ve found this amazing guy that’s perfect for you in every way. Except for the fact that they’re already taken. Great. Now you start asking yourself some questions. What makes her so special? You’re just as pretty/smart/awesome as she is. Why don’t they just break up already? Everyone knows they’re not right for each other. Why can’t he see it?

Yeah, if any of that sounds familiar I need you to take a deep breath and reevaluate. I know T-Swift made the whole “You Belong With Me” thing look awesome but more often than not your crush is actually happy in their relationship. Even if they’re not you do not want to be their side piece or break up someone’s relationship. Truthfully, if they’re willing to break up with their girlfriend to be with you what’s to say they won’t do the same thing to you further down the road. Something to think about.

3. They just want to be friends


Hello and welcome to the friend zone. Your crush is single and ready to mingle . . . just not with you. Ouch. However, they do want you around to help with all their dating issues, life issues, family issues, and basically all their issues that they would tell a significant other if they had one. But instead they have you who will listen to everything they say and always be there for them in the hopes that one day you’ll be called up out of the friend zone to play in the big leagues.

I blame pop culture for giving us this idea that if a guy and girl are friends long enough they’ll eventually date. Fact: this is not always the case. In fact this is often not the case. Usually if a guy wants to date a girl they will say so. They won’t string you along and ask you for advice about other girls just to test the waters. In truth they just don’t see you that way.

Yes, I know, it hurts but sometimes it just happens that way. Sometimes no matter what you do or say some things just aren’t meant to be and it sucks. The hardest part is to accept it and move on. Stop waiting and hoping that his feelings will change because while you’re waiting for him you’ll never see all the other options that come your way.

Therefore let go and stop waiting for him to see your greatness. It’s his loss. Plus who knows maybe one day it will happen but don’t hold out for it to. As my mom always says, “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.” Or, “There’s plenty of fish in the sea.”

Truthfully, it’s totally possible that a crush could end in complete heartbreak which sucks. No one wants to admit that some person who you never even dated broke your heart but it happens. Even so, that doesn’t mean crushes are bad and shouldn’t happen. They’re called crushes for a reason. The feelings you feel for a person can weigh heavily on you but the way to make sure you don’t get crushed is to make sure you don’t start worshipping the person.

No one is perfect and though you may think this person is the greatest thing ever he’s probably not.Try not to only see the good but also recognize the bad parts of him as well. Don’t put him on a pedestal; see him for who he is. Once you do that you might just realize he wasn’t as great as you thought. Or you’ll find them less intimidating.

Either way, don’t let your crush crush you. Though you can’t really control who you fall for you can control how you handle it. Don’t let one person take over your whole world. Don’t give someone that much power over you. Remember how great you are and that at the end of the day, no matter what happens you’re still going to be just as great.


Source for GIFS: Tumblr


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